My children development

As at to-date, Aqil dah tumbuh dua batang gigi.. satu kat rahang bawah and satu lagi rahang atas (gigi arnab dia tu). So comel; especially when he started giving his usual grin tu...

Adleena... ngadu asyik sakit kaki sakit tangan... We went to Klinik Segara and the doctor said those are normal for children her age. The doctor gave panadol syrup asked us to give when she complaint sakit. Then, after browsing the web, I found out... those kind of pain she experienced is called 'growing pains'. Growing pains is normal for children between the age 5-10 years to experience coz those are the times they experience rapid growth.
Also, Adleena, gigi kekal dia dah tumbuh without the gigi susu jatuh lagi..
Sekarang, gigi susu dah mula goyah. Hope that it will luruh on its own, kalau tak kena jugak bawak dia ke dentist balik... Aduh, mencabarnya menjadi ibu ni.

Adriana... sakit perut malam malam dia dah tak ada pulak lagi.
At one time.. memang kesian.. every night dia kembung and sakit perut. Doc said nothing.. Doc said she only wants attention. Well, I searched the web also.. from the web, it said - it is for some unknown reason for such abdominal pain experienced by children especially at night. But the pain is real. I can see that it was real coz she would cry to sleep with the tummy sakit. So kesian...To say she is colicky, not exactly...Tapi kekadang tu dengan kerasnya dia ni...naik angin jugak ibu dibuatnya.
Ya Tuhan, peliharalah Ainur Adriana ni... dan bekalkan lah semua kesabaran pada ibu ni.

...some truth..

someone actually iterated this today...
that captured my eyes... my mind...
I was agreeable to the phrase though silence overtake my mind, thoughts and actions..

" junie... i guess..emotions, love,.. is something which can't be explained logically"
"... either you embrace it or you just hide from it..."

let me capture this statement here... before it disappears in the molecules of the air.

A Mother's Love

To some, love is just a word
To me it's a feeling
A feeling I get every time I look into your eyes
A feeling I get when I realize you are my mom
A mom who loves, shares, A mom who inspires
Unconditionally
What's that?
That's love
A mother's love, but only you would know
And me
You returned that love time and time again
Possibly too much, nevertheless you did
Thank-you
Thank-you for being there when I needed you most
For being my rock when I should have been yours
Thank-you for believing in me, even when I doubted myself
For being the one person I could trust
No matter what, no matter where
But most of all thank-you for being you-my mom
A mom I am so proud to claim
...I love you
Now and forever

?? Emotional -- Attach ??

I noticed, at times I am very emotion-less. But when I have the element of emotion to anything that I do, anything that I encounter, anything that I experience...mixed reactions that I would portray, which depends on my way of thinking at that very spot.

Why am I at the topic of EMOTION today?

Well, I am touched after reading a long-lost friend's blog on how happy she was after a surprised baby shower secretly organised for her. Gosh I was really excited reading the related stories on that event. But then, I became very emotional - very sad when I thought, just recently I revealed about me following all her updates secretly and asking for how she was doing... but no respond at all. I wonder why?
How the friendship had gone astray, was all because of me. I take advantage of her.
As far as I have lived, I have done this twice... or may be three times.
I lost or... in one of the case.. partly lost the beautiful ties of friendship.
I dunno why do I do this to the persons that I got emotionally attached with. I know I love that person, but I do things unexpectedly to loose them.

There was this one day, I was thinking - can I not cry and be dreadful if I have to loose someone I love. Then, I thought.. all that have to do with the 'emotional attachment'!! Then, it came cross my mind.. can I not have emotion attached to anyone??.. Then I thought about my children.. How I was almost outta my mind and hysterical when I saw Adriana turned blue.

The answer is -- 'Feelings' are the gift of the Al-Mighty Allah.
People come and go in our lives.Some left us with beautiful.. irreplaceable memories that will never die and will remain in our hearts and minds as wonderful as ever. Some left us painfully, that the thoughts about them just bring back sadness, griefs and repeated heartbreaks... and there are some who left us unnoticeable. Everyone has a 'pre-determined' way of leaving.

My prayer. Dear God, please give me the strength in facing all those are to come in my path. Give me the courage to go through everything that I would be facing in my life.-Ameen-

Aqil's first scolding

We had Uda & family and other (in-law) family members, except for Angah's, at our home last night. Aqil was enjoying the crowd till midnight. Before they left, I was browsing through old garments of Adriana and Adleena - evaluating which ones that I could give to Alia. That was the point where my children got so excited to mess with the box full of used garments. Aqil was beginning to take those out of the box.. I scolded him by showing my index finger and my hand (as though that I wanted to slap him)with a stern face.. amazing that he understood and responded by 'cebek-ing' and cried after that.. haha. That kinda amazed me and I was glad that my son understood those signs and gestures. Alhamdulillah...

Aqil is becoming more 'adventurous' nowadays.. he is capable of letting himself out of my firm grab.. he is so strong. He is also very naughty at times that he likes to disturb Adriana. Poor Adriana will go on screaming when Aqil comes near her. Adriana is another angel. As much as she tried not to hurt Aqil by her pushing, kicking, beating.. at times I saw what she just couldn't help it but pushing Aqil away..hahaha.. so entertaining looking at them both at times (secretly of course). Then comes Adleena trying to save Aqil from Adriana. But Aqil is another 'stub' haha, persistently disturb Adriana again and again..

The only thing constant is Change...

Alhamdulillah... alhamdulillah... alhamdulillah.. God the Most Merciful.
Tuesday 26 May marked the day of something that I had hoped for for a long long time came on .. wonderfully soothing for my hearing. As I was cleaning up in Mak's kitchen, I overheard Mak, Abah and my beloved - their conversations...

After 9 years of marrying the person that I have chosen to be my life partner... all those thrills, feelings of fear, distress and those tears that had been pouring until there were none.. God the Most Merciful, had shown the light to changes in 2003... Ultimately, this day that it answered my never-ending prayer to obtain 'full acceptance' to everyone else... It is hard to pour out historical story... let it resides within my personal book of memory.. as I will always pray for the great being of everybody.

It has been a year past...

20th May... A year ago, by the works of God, a wonderful of His artwork emerged into the light of the earth. Aqil Mustaqim was born giving me full excitement of receiving him as the first boy of my own. The little SunShine of my life.

A week before his 1st birthday, Aqil started to creep for the first time. I saw he made three small steps before he got into sitting position again. He was exploring. He is still exploring how to creep properly and the speed had increased this far. Though he is quite behind in his development, he did make it anyhow. I'm proud of his development this far.

My only worry now is that Aqil is not talking as much.. of rather babbling that much. He has been a very quiet baby. Be babbled whenever he feels like it, but it is very rare..also I only meet him at night during week days..

I wish I could do more for Aqil. I wish to be by his side all the time. I wish that I could encourage him and help him more for his development.Allah, give me patience and never have give-ups in me.. I'll give up my own life for the success of all my children.