Still in Tioman... back at the chalet. When my little girl was fast asleep and no more fever... thought he would be sleeping next to his sick girl. I was surprised! He got up!!!
Well, I know he was previously gathered at the other chalet till I called him for his daughter was unwell.
I had some hope for some moments together... -sigh-.. I am always left with me and my hope all eaten up by myself. He said, he was going to join the others for "a while". The word 'a while' soothed me. But, as though I didnt know his 'a while' would be 'how long'. That was not the first time... I was stupid. From midnight, till 3am I still hear laughters. Oh my, God knows how I had suffered... I cried and cried.. I stayed in the bathroom for long time playing handphone game while having the tap running, so that my heart wont suffer more and more listening to those noise and those girlish laughters outside. It was an excruciating pain that I suffered. My feelings.... beyond the description of any words.
Past 3am... he was not back still.. I cannot hold it much longer, I went out of the chalet and headed on to the shore.
I thanked God for making me a very strong person, for all those tests that he had given me - I survived. But, sometimes I feel.. I am sick of being strong. It hurts so badly when I have to stay strong.
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